"How to Catch Crabs"

“How to Catch Crabs” – That’s the title of the latest book I’ve bought along with another one called “103 Fishing Secrets”. I’m determined that we are going to fish for salmon and trap crabs. Bill is not so enthusiastic. In fact, he’s downright negative, but I’m going ahead. In Sidney, I dragged him into a store to purchase a collapsible crab trap. As it’s not a small thing, I wanted to make sure he at least approved that it could go on the boat even if he really didn’t approve the need or the use of it. I found out that the crab trap was only one part of the whole set up. We also needed a bait trap, a floating marker and about 100’ of sinkable line. I was told we were lucky this trap came with a weight or we’d have to buy that too. I’m now $100.00 into this venture, but all that remains to purchase is a license. Bill’s too impatient to go with me to the shop where I can get a license, but that can be done in Victoria. At least, I have the trap. I’m not too sure how to use it or where and when to use it, but at least I have it.

In Victoria, I finally find out where to buy a license. None of this “finding of fishing information” is coming easily. When I go to the store, I’m told that all I need is one license. That’s a relief. One license will cover fishing, crabbing and digging for sea life. That sounds good to me, but it will be $6.35 more to be able to keep the salmon I catch. Now why else would anyone want to fish? Fishing, crabbing -- it’s all about food to me; putting dinner on the table. So, I tell the nice young man that, of course, I want to be able to keep my salmon and how much will the total be? $117 !!!, but it’s good for a year. That’s nice. Can I get a refund if I only need it for 4 ½ months? Of course not. So now I’m $217 into this venture without a salmon or crab in sight, and I’m still not sure how to use any of the equipment. I now am told that I’m at a fly fishing store, and they don’t know anything about my type of fishing, but they know where I can go. Off I go to a store with the improbable name of “Iron Works” for fishing gear. Of course, the guy I need to talk to is out to lunch. I hang around looking at these impossible looking fishing gadgets until he returns. He doesn’t appear to know much more than I or I’m suspecting he just doesn’t want to let me in on trade secrets, but he does sell me the two books plus some crazy looking bright metal things with nasty hooks on the end. I still don’t know much more than when I started out the day except that I’m now $267 into this and still don’t know how to get the food on the table. I figure Bill and I could have about 2+ crab dinners with wine at a nice restaurant overlooking the boats in the harbor, and life would be much easier, less complicated and marital bliss would continue.

It’s now the end of the day, and I’m not much further along in my quest for equipment and enlightenment. So, my next brainstorm is to ask the 3 guys on the small fish boat at the dock ahead of us if they wouldn’t help a damsel in need. They, of course, are flattered to be asked, and I get my first chuckle of the day watching the three of them trying to give me a life time’s lesson in fishing for salmon. They do rig up a line for me. It starts with a weight (8 – 10 oz.) which I don’t have as the man in “Iron Works” didn’t think of, know about or want to clue me in about. Then about 3’ of line before a “flasher” is attached. Don’t have that either because of the same reasons above. Then another 3-4’ of line before something called a “spoon” is attached and then the hook at the very end. I am now told that there are different weights of weights, different flashy flashers and same applies to the spoons. Each man has his own opinion about which works best and/or which the fish (the fish?) like best, all of which I dutifully write down in my little book. Meanwhile, I’m also looking at this contraption wondering if they’re just trying to put one over on me for a good laugh later that evening, or, if they are telling me the Gospel truth, I’m now sure that salmon are really, really dumb. All these shiny metal gadgets to attract the fish’s interest, but nary a worm or bit of fish food in sight? Why would any living body even think of putting that thing in its mouth? The fish are making me feel good. I may have spent $267 with nothing to show, but at least I don’t go chasing after shiny objects ending up with a hook down my throat and on somebody’s dinner plate. The guys take pity on me and give me the contraption they’ve rigged up. Only they don’t have a spare weight for me, but assure me that that can be purchased at the fuel dock on the way out of the harbor tomorrow. Sure --- and Bill’s going to stop at that fuel dock on the way out of the harbor! We’re already fueled and ready to go. Maybe I can buy one somewhere in Desolation Sound. If not, I just better break even on the crabs. Eighteen, just a mere 18, ought to do it.